What came of a nap . . .

This is a post I wrote last month and sent it to a forum I am on. The response was so positive that I thought I'd publish it here and share it with you.

Today was a nightmare...absolute. By 11:30 a.m. I was in tears, pleading to a Father in Heaven to lift me from my frustrations and set me down somewhere near the equator - alone and with a nice cool drink. Do you ever have one of those days?

My children 'got messy' (which by the way, is a motto I created, thinking that it would inspire them to explore as children should- like they need to be inspired to do that! Geesh!) painting one another's faces - what a wonderful start to a day of learning don't you think? Somehow, somewhere it went wrong and I can't tell you how - it happened all so fast. I was left wondering why I had gotten myself into this...and frantically looking for a way to get myself out.

I thought to myself...'we need more structure...bring back a set curriculum to follow...bring back the conveyor belt'...but of course I had been there- done that and structuring content doesn't work...it isn't best. I knew that. Sending them back to public school wasn't an option either...I know too much and I've come too far to go back now...I had to think of something else...

How was I going to honour my children's phases? How was I going to teach them the lessons of the love of learning phase and still make them accountable for their learning? How was I going to inspire my children to think that learning is more fun than anything else? How am I going to inspire my children that books are awesome and that they can learn anything they want from them? So in finding an answer to these questions I did the only thing a mother can...

I took a nap.

Afterwards the answers came when the tears had stopped and my sinuses drained. I want to share what I came up with and I hope you don't mind. It may not be for you but it is another break through in our home...

My children have a few rules during our scheduled time (not content) -no computer games, no television, no friends. Learning time is family time and it is fun time. However, they really love these three things and so fun family learning time has become something to get through so that they can get to the 'real fun' - computer games, television (movies really) and friends. And yet when they let themselves at it they love to learn...if they let themselves at it...sigh.

Anyway, I get a lot of...'mom, I did my zones (chores), I read a chapter in my book, yeah it was good. I learned I should be nice or something. I drew a picture - it's a flower or a bird, I can't remember. 2x4 is 8, so can I call Tabatha? Can I watch a movie (curse Disney!)? to which I reply 'no' and when I try to explain why I am saying no, they can't hear me because they are in tantrum-mode about how cruel I am and that I couldn't possibly be their real mother...and how they wished they could run away to Nintendo land or where ever. Can you empathize?

So...here's what I did...I wrote a list of things that they needed to answer before they could do the 'really fun' things they wanted to. Then I got really silly (naps help with that)...I grabbed a yard stick and I talked in a German accent (a really bad rendition of Einstein) and I sat them down on the floor before me. I thwacked them with the yard stick when they got unruly (truly! they laughed their heads off - I don't know why but they love when I do that. It doesn't hurt them because of course I don't hit them really hard but it makes a loud 'thwack' and that sends them into hysterics - I would suggest you buy a yard stick for this very comedic purpose)...anyway, for the next 20 minutes I explained to them that if they could answer these 12 questions they could play computer, watch television and have friends over all at the same time if they wanted.

1. Did you FILL UP your mind with stories?
I had a big glass and a jug of juice to demonstrate. I said, 'this glass is your mind and this jug of cool sweet juice is stories'. I asked my son if he filled his mind up with stories, he said "YES". I gave him the I-think-your-telling-a-whopper look. So I poured a little juice in the cup ...not even enough to swallow. I then asked my daughter who read a chapter in her book the same question and I gave her a swallows worth. I then explained as I poured the glass to the top with juice that THIS is filling up your mind with stories and I drank it down (and burped for effect - how ladylike I know).
2. Did you EXPLORE and ask lots of QUESTIONS?
We talked about exploring and what that could be...exploring in books, music, art, nature, the back yard, up our nose (I have two sons), on field trips, in our imagination, in the Lego box...etc

3. Did you LOOK FOR ANSWERS in lots of BOOKS?

4. Did you work on your weekly goals?
My son is in cub scouts and my daughter through our church have goals they work on and complete until they are 12. Each Sunday they pick one goal to work on during the week.

5. Did you read to Liam?
He is our core phaser 5 year old and we are all responsible to read to him or tell him a story of some sort.

6. Did you do something NICE for someone in the family?

7. Did you LISTEN to GOD'S WORDS?
Each morning we read as a family from our central classic.

8. Did you FEEL for the HOLY GHOST?
I discussed that this was a time for quiet and reflection...prayer perhaps or just thinking about good things. It's a time where they try to feel peace and love from God. I want them to have a connection with their Saviour and making ourselves still takes practise. I want them to start now.

9. Did you listen RESPECTFULLY to mommie when she taught you something new?
We have a problem with interrupting and leaving the room when I have something to share. I underlined this one and told my 5 year old that he was responsible for this one most of all...

10. Did you FILL your JOURNALS with what you DID or what you LEARNED or what you FELT or what you DREAMED of or what you LOVE today?
Journaling is a must but how they do it is up to them. My youngest journals in picture form, sometimes I take dictation. Sometimes they scrapbook with pictures or items they found (feathers, dead bugs and such>things) or words...my son (8) writes sometimes in point form.

11. Did you do your zones (chores)?

and most importantly...

12. DID YOU DO YOUR BEST?

I promised them that by the end of the year they won't need this list because they would be doing these things naturally. I promised they won't need to even ask me if they can play at a friends, they'd say, "mom, I am going over to Tabatha's now, see you before dinner" and I'd be okay with that. I promised them that they would think learning is more fun than any old Disney movie - Scouts honour even!

And they jumped up and started a day of learning even when formal learning time had been over hours ago! NO LIES! What is most important is that each day I am answering these questions too. I am learning right along with them. I ask what they are interested in and then I get books and start reading in front of them. I get into it. I'm excited about dinosaurs or bugs or Japan (except when we found a dead salamander during our walk that had been run over by a vehicle and his poor insides where on his poor outsides...I just couldn't join in with the poking and natural curiosity that boys have...anatomy will be left up to someone other mentor thank you very much!) I have weekly goals too and a journal that I draw, paste and write in. I ask a million questions (lately the reoccurring questions are 'what have I gotten myself into?' and 'why me?') but I am looking through books to find the answers too. I share when I can and I take the time to listen to my children when they just can't wait but tell me what they found!

It means leaving my comfort zone but as Abigail Adams wrote to her 9 year old son,

"These are the times in which a genius would wish to live. It is not in the still calm of life or in the repose of a pacific station that great characters are formed. The habits of a vigorous mind are formed when contending with difficulties."