Summer Reading Favorites

Have you ever heard of Clara Dillingham Pierson? Well, let me introduce you to this delightful author! I have fallen in love with her quaint little nature stories for young children. Liam and I have been reading them on-line together. He always wants me to read 'one more'.

Clara Pierson wrote several books for her kindergarten class around the turn of the 20th century. I couldn't find much more about her except that she taught in Michigan. Right now, we are reading Among the Meadow People and it is enchanting. Not only do we learn about the secret lives of insects and animals that live in the meadow but each story has a character building moral.

We read them on-line for free at www.mainlesson.com otherwise known as The Baldwin Project. However, I have enjoyed this book so much that I am buying it as well as Among The Forest People, Among the Night People, Among the Farmyard People and Among the Pond People.

I hope you give Clara Pierson's books a tickle. I don't think you will be disappointed if you enjoy nature stories.

bumble anne bags is open!

We've done it! We've made the bags! We've created a website! We've designed our logo! We're open for business! Tansy and I are so excited.

Our bags are affordable and 'bumbly-fun'! We try to make our bags out of recycled material and I hunt for vintage fabrics, buttons, and other accessories (what a chore - NOT). Everything we make is machine washable and original!

We hope you take a look at our website and tell your friends about us!

Flowers in the Garden of Life

"Only that which has character is truly beautiful." Gari Melchers

This is my 9 year old (actually he was 8 when I took this picture) wonder boy. He is an big brother or a pest depending on which sibling you ask, a soccer goalie and an artist. He is also my heart.

I was reading somewhere that children are like flowers in the garden of life. I thought it was a swell analogy and it has changed the way I look at my children. So often I don't 'see' them growing in this family garden. I am not paying attention to who the are, who they are becoming. I don't take the time to sit and enjoy what God has planted here. I get distracted by the monotony that plagues a mother - the cleaning, cooking, laundry, correcting, worrying and so on.

Over dinner we decided what type of flower we each were. We agreed that the baby, Liam (who is 5) was a ‘dandelion‘. Tansy was a 'sweet pea'. When it came to Tristan, Tansy piped in, "He's a stinkweed." But he is my ‘sunflower’ hands down. Daddy was unanimously deemed a 'snapdragon' and I took the title of ‘lily‘.

Word Collecting

Since I was very young I have been collecting words. I think it started around the time Anne of Green Gables came out on the CBC. I had never heard language play that way and I was enchanted. We had taped the made-for-TV movie and I would sit in giddy anticipation with scribbler and pen ready to capture those words that charmed me so. From that day forward a love affair began and it has never waned.

Some people collect leaves and press them between pages. I collect words. When I read a book I will write down word combinations in my ‘word collection’ journal. My daughter collects words as well and we compare our finds now and again. I would be very curious to meet anyone with the same hobby. Let me share a few:

Butterfly summer
Magically spun
Gentle corner
Stung with cold
A long ago Queen
Cheery charm
Petal-strewn
Surrounded with tradition
Friendly arrangements
Soft spoken advice
Weedy chaos
Fabric-by-mail
The enchanted realm of childhood

Don’t they sound like playful blog headings? These words paint pictures in my mind that inspire me to write. I am not the most talented writer but I love to do it. As a goal I am going to write under these headings to help sharpen my skills as a writer and to try to inspire my daughter to do the same.

Mother ~ Daughter Adventure

For a two years now I have been thinking about trying my hand at a small business making bags and aprons. I have been inspired by the creative efforts of Soulemama. I had initially planned to partner with a friend but as the years have passed we have taken different paths. For a few months I have been sewing totes and enjoying my creative efforts.

Little did I know but someone was watching. She was always asking about the bags.

"Momma, may I have a bag?"
"Momma, are you making bags again?"
"Oh, I like that bag! Can I have it?"

Then it hit me. "Why don't we do this together?!" I asked her if she'd like to be my partner.

"Can I be the President?"
"Yes, we can both be the President."
"Can I design bags?"
"Absolutely."

Tansy was somewhat interested. So together we brainstormed business names. I came up with a name that I have been quite fond of for years but she thought it was too 'sweet'. She wanted something more 'spunky'. We have Decided to call our little business
bumble-anne bags.
Tansy became more interested. We are presently working on the Logo.

We also came up with a business plan and the more we discussed it the more excited we became. Now she is thrilled about our new business venture and we chat away like girlfriends about it.

This is such a wonderful opportunity to create a memory with my daughter. I'll keep you posted on our little adventure together!

Saturdays ,Convictions and Peggys

I went to a Leadership Education Forum this past Saturday. It was very uplifting. I was worried that it would confuse me after making up my mind (prayerfully) to send my two oldest back to public school. It didn't. Instead, I felt a calming reassurance I was doing the right thing in our home. With clarity I felt what my purpose and call is. Without doubt ; without second guessing I was cemented in my conviction of the Legacy we are creating in our family.

Now for the work. Ah yes, the work.

I am very inspired by a woman named Peggy. Let me explain.

I don't like work. Truth is, I try to avoid it at all costs. The harder something gets, the more likely it is that I will opt out. This is one of my many character flaws. I will work hard at something if I am enjoying the work but when it starts to get uncomfortable . . . see ya!

Despite this flaw, I tend to be attracted to things that take a great deal of hard work because I know that ultimately I am meant to do more with my life. Aren't we all?

This is were my adoration for Peggy comes in. Here is a woman who has taken the hard road. Sometimes I wonder what she is doing! She organizes forums and seminars. She has created a floating university for parents. She puts on retreats for the youth. That takes juggling and planning; that takes money and sleepless nights; that takes leaving comfort zones and sacrifice - that takes work!

She has 6 children under the age of 8 - two of which are babies. She struggles with timidity and insecurities (although I can't understand why - she's such an amazing woman). Her husband is an actor so until he lines up that one big break, things are tight. Although I am sure they have kind intentions, she has opposition (the kind only a homeschooling parent can appreciate) from family. Did I mention she has 6 children under the age of eight? Two of which she has adopted. And still she keeps going with these dreams and plans to keep Leadership education alive.

Why? Is she crazy? Overly idealistic? A masochist?

Or does this have something to do with conviction, courage and purpose?

People don't do hard things unless they are either crazy or convicted. This I believe. Why on earth would a group of people break away from the main church in England to worship as their conscience dictates; under the threat of imprisonment or death; get on a ship and sail to America only to meet similar opposition unless they were either crazed, idealistic masochists or spurred by courageous, purpose driven conviction?

Peggy would joke that she is crazy but she isn't. The girl has conviction. Because of that conviction she has been making sacrifices to do the hard work that needs to be done in order to create the learning and living environment she knows will lift her family to the place they are meant to be. It hasn't been easy and I can't fully appreciate just what that means. I can only sense it with a sympathetic shudder.

That kind of determination moves me. At first, I was so glad she felt the 'call' to keep leadership learning burning bright in our area because then I wouldn't have to worry about doing any of that hard work. But because of Peggy, I am able to hear clearly what my call really is and because of her example I am less afraid of the work that needs to be done to answer it.

With conviction comes work.

With work comes reward.

With reward comes more work.

With work comes peace.

All I have ever wanted is peace. There is only one way to peace and that is through work.

*crap* I mean, yippee!

Of Fairies, daughters, and motherhood - of poetry and ideals

Years before Tansy was conceived I was looking through a book and fell upon this picture of The Tansy Fairy. I was so taken by it (this was right at the time commercialized fairy-mania started charming the west) that I imagined my child looking just like this. I was so captured by this picture that I vowed that I would name my first daughter after her...I did just that.

I thought to myself at the time, ‘my daughter is going to look just like this fairy. She is going to have round rosy cheeks and dimpled knees and I am going to love her.’ Curiously enough, she did grow to look like this fairy but she also grew in ways I hadn’t thought of at that time - that time before I began to look with a mother‘s heart.

Here is my first born - my only daughter. She is so much more than rosy cheeks and dimpled knees (which knees she has outgrown). She is a writer, a mentor and my spiritual advisor in many ways. Her spirituality catches me off guard so often that I wonder at her. And I am to be her guide? Maybe I should just sit back and be the student. Didn’t Christ tell us to become as little children?

I know that sometimes I forget His words. I get caught up in preparing my children for adulthood. They grow so fast - why do we push them? We sometimes get so caught up in the pushing and preparing that we miss the point. “And a little child shall lead them”.

Sometimes looking with a mother's heart becomes distorted by expectation, worry, guilt and pride.I think that looking with a mom’s heart and looking with a poet’s heart are the same. A poet normally looks for the beauty in life and finds it in the strangest places. Out of pain a poet finds beauty. In the mundane a poet finds art.

Robert Frost wrote, “Poetry begins in delight and ends in wisdom’. So should looking with a mother’s heart!

I heard that children are like flowers and I liked the analogy. I wonder if, ‘children are life’s poetry’ is not more fitting. Not poetry we write but poetry we delight in and then gain wisdom from. And if that is so - if we can see our children as living poetry doesn’t that make us the same as well? Didn’t someone somewhere write, “If you can’t be a poet, be the poem”?

Troels wrote something that impressed me very much, ‘Like with some shy animals that will not allow you to approach them, but if you turn your attention elsewhere they may choose to approach you.”

I contrast that against something Dr. Phil says (yes, I do watch him now and again, I’ll admit it) - he says that we write on the slate of who our children are. I wonder at that comment.

Why should we try? I mean, wouldn’t it be better to be the best poem (or example) we can be and let our children approach us (or learn from us)? I guess that happens regardless. But I know that I tend to ‘go after’ my children to clean their rooms, mind their manners, do their homework, say their prayers etc etc. And I am not saying that these things shouldn’t be taught a child...I guess what I am addressing is how these things are taught to a child.

Using Troels shy animal analogy, an animal will run off when you go after it but if you turn your attention elsewhere - I suggest inward- it will approach you. That makes the thought of being approachable take on a whole new meaning for me. I think that being approachable means living the life I have the best I can. It means doing what I know to be right. It means stopping what I know to be wrong. It means seeking out the beauty and enjoying it where ever it is.

My adopted philosophy is to leave the child to explore and seek, guiding her through example. Of course I am not suggesting that we leave a child to explore danger and seek where evil intent prowls, I am just saying that we need to check our expectations and our plans so we are not smothering our children with them. I am saying that we need to watch with poets eyes at the children around us.

Oh dear, have I exposed myself as an idealist. It is true, I am. I try not to go over the top but I am prone to rant and rave. I can’t let go of the ideal I’m afraid, it is the north star to which I navigate my life.

Reason or rationalization? A rant of limitless proportions

I am having a baby in August. A baby. I haven't been pregnant for 6 years. Why this fact has tipped me upside down is a mystery to me. It's not like this was a surprise. We decided to have one more child.

I've been sick and tired. Nothing new there, I was sick and tired for the last 3 pregnancies. However, this time around there has been a deep changing within. Many of the things I loved before, many of my goals and dreams aren't important to me. I am just not interested in them anymore.

Homeschooling, Leadership education, Art of Womanhood and the newsletter - I don't want to do it anymore. Just like that. Overnight. Huh!!!? For the first 3 months of this pregnancy, my bookshelves (which has been my pride and joy) made me ill to look at. I had no interest in reading another classic. Even the idea of scholar phase overwhelmed me to nausea. I was very confused by the strong feelings I was experiencing so suddenly and without warning.

I equated it all to morning sickness and expected that when I was feeling better I would get back to reading and writing. I have returned to my writing but I haven't really picked up a book. A friend is having a book discussion on C.S Lewis's Abolition of Man for May. I could try to get into it. I've loved the idea of reading C.S. Lewis in the past . . .

I am the editor in chief of the Art of Womanhood newsletter. This has been a wonderful opportunity and a dream I have had for many years. I had wanted to start my own newsletter (actually I wanted to start a magazine) for woman - to inspire them in their roles as women, mothers and housewives. That's exactly what Art of Womanhood does! Now, I want to drop it. I don't want to do this newsletter because it is too much work. My dream!!!? Where did that come from?!!!

I've been very excited about homeschooling for many years. Now, I want it to go away. Bam! I want my children to go back to public school where someone else can be responsible for educating them. There I said it truthfully. I don't want the responsibility that seems to be an anvil on me. It's too much pressure. It's too much work.

Reason or rationalization?

This baby coming is worrying me. I wonder what I was thinking when I decided for one more. I try to tell myself this baby is a blessing but I can't ignore what has come with each child; Postpartum depression, anxiety, fatigue, heaps of laundry, painful breastfeeding experiences, feeling overwhelmed and helpless. All of which I have gotten through before. I am so glad for each child the Lord has sent. This baby is a blessing.

What is four children? Many women in this community have 6 - 9 - 12 children. Am I a wimp? I just can't see how I can homeschool, carry on with Art of Womanhood and work towards a scholar phase with that year of the baby looming. It's my breaking point and it hasn't even happened yet.

How will I get up in the morning to start that routine of the day when I am up all night feeding? How will I cope with the depression, be an example of life long learning, nurture my children's love of learning and keep dinner on the table? For me, it is difficult to stay happy that first year of a baby. Maybe it will be different. Maybe no depression. Maybe the baby will latch wonderfully. Maybe the baby will be a good sleeper. Maybe I will have energy to spare.

A friend, Heather Burton, believes we can do difficult things. I believe it. I am just in a spot where I don't want to do it. I don't want to struggle through it and I resent the idea that I might be giving up the grand prize at the end. This could make me stronger. If I can homeschool and stick with the newsletter, if I can keep up my studies and cope with postpartum life then I will be a pillar of strength. I will have gone through the refiners fire. I will have arrived at 'amazingness'.

Mediocrity looks pretty good to me right now. Why can't I just be happy with who I am and what I have right now? Why am I always chasing the grandness of it all? Why can't my progression be small steps to small victories? Why can't that be sufficient enough? Why can't I enjoy the quiet of my life?

reason?

My dear friend Peggy finds it frustrating because her mother-in-law isn't supportive of her decision to homeschool. I am very worried of the comments homeschoolers will say when I send my oldest back to public school. I've heard them before about others who have gone back to public school. I've said them before about others who have gone back before. I wish I had never passed judgement.

Do you know what I want to do?

I want to sleep. I want to dip fresh Focaccia bread into balsamic vinegar and olive oil. I want to sew a bag and buy a teacup. I want to plant primrose in my garden. I want to restock rice in our food storage.

I am sewing!

Let me tell you of my experience in sewing. My mother put me in 4-H sewing when I was 12. I used a very old sewing machine that might have been my grandmothers or someones' grandmothers'. It seldom worked. I spent most of my time a.) fighting with the sewing machine and b.) ripping out the stitches I managed to sew. My 4-H leader did most of my sewing because I was so behind. Needless to say- I have hated sewing since.

In the late 90's my husband bought me a sewing machine which I used a little. I made a dress for my daughter (with a lot of help from a friend) and I made some curtains and other odds and ends. I didn't hate it anymore but it wasn't my favorite past time.

Suddenly, all I want to do is sew. Totes! I made these and I had such fun! No help from anyone. Granted, they aren't hard to make but they bring me such pleasure. I love love love totes! I can not have too many. They work for everything. I am hoping to sell a bunch of them locally.

Thrifting treasures

It's coming close to that time of year again! Yes, yard sales and thrifting adventures! Look at these goodies I found at my favorite thrift store. They make me so happy I just had to share!

For months I have been reading other women's blogs and drooling over their thrifted treasures. It has inspired me to journal what I find. I can't describe the pleasure this hobby brings me. The only rule I have is that I must love-love-love it if I am going to bring it home with me.